Kiss My Spikes

You…

You were always there for me…

You kept me sane, you kept me laughin….

Even when you got on my last nerve, you still found a way to make me smile…

You  were a true friend…

Your……

Your hugs…

Your touch….

That feeling where everything seems right in your arms…

Your feeling that everything is going to be alright…

Your arms holding me tight and secure…

You’re you making it alright…

Ughhh!

Ughh your annoyance!

Ughhh your stupid jokes!

Ughhhh u play too much!

Ughhhhh I can’t stand you!

Ughhhhhh I’m done with you!

BYE!

Sadly…

Sadly I miss you…

Sadly I miss your hugs…

Sadly I miss your smile…

Sadly I miss your spirit and bright aura…

Sadly I know it’s to late…

Sadly I know you belong to someone else…

Sadly I don’t think I’ll ever have another chance…

Sadly I know the truth…

Yet…

Yet you’re still in my life…

Yet you’re still a great friend..

Yet, better yet, I’ll take that..

Because to be without you, it wouldn’t be the same..

Friend or lover, I’ll take either or…

Yet, you will always be he…

Yet, you as he, the unforgotten one…

After spending some time with a old friend this week, I have come to a few conclusions.

1. I am not emotionally bound to him anymore.

2. The competitiveness of mental games is real

3. The flesh is weak BUT….as weak as u let it.

4. My imagination is wilder than I thought.

I use to go nuts over this kid and now…I cant see how I did. lol (that much if anything). I mean if it came to it and we felt the same way about each other, I would probably consider real care for him again. However, I know this guy too well to know that might not a occur anytime soon. At first, I wanted to chill and talk to “get some closure”. I was starting to wonder if: I compared him to every guy I’ve talk to lately or even if I still care about him….Nevertheless closure was the absolute last thing on my mind. And even when it did come to mind, it was like what’s the point? I got my questions answered without the explanation. My reasons rippled to a blur and there was nothin I could do. 

Well since the emotions wasnt there, you what was ;-) Mannnnn…..mannnn….smh…lust is a bitch lol flatout! However as much as I want it, I won’t give in easy. This is where my competitiveness comes in. See he likes to play mind games and pick u out fast but that crap dont work on me anymore. (Boy did it used to tho smh) Anywho, the game was: control. Yea I said it control lol Either you win or you lose. We both succeeded but 5 more seconds…there wouldn’t have been any more control.

Throughout the night, I enjoyed the mind games. I learned a few new things about myself. But since we’re both very competitive, I lowkey wondered who was goin to give in first. I tried to trigger a lil bit but somehow he’s gotta better. I was shocked,surprised, and turned on at the same time lol. I wanted him to lose control while he was waiting for the “signal”. Playing with danger and losing space in between us, it was almost there. I gave the signal alright and so did he..Both prepared (very much so) but wrong place, wrong time (or just wrong place). Some folk can get on anywhere without a care in the world…..that aint here tho lol. Gotta respect the household and other ppl stuff. But if we were in Columbus, Ohio………………………………..yep my mind went there again lol. All i can do is laugh and say who knows? But hey maybe next time. I got the right place just waiting for the right time.